Life in 30

You were 10 for a moment. Things were fun and interesting. Time is an inexhaustible resource, so you basically went to school, came home and keep on having fun. All those harrowing concerns were out of your mind; worrisome is outsourced to your parents. At that point in life, you are truly living in the seemingly transient moment. Friendship is not a commodity and relationship is not mutual exchange of benefits. The world is a kind and beautiful place to be through your innocent eyes, you get to dabble in whatever the world has to offer.  The road is rough, but that didn’t matter. Everyone is there for you; you are there for everyone.

You were 20 for a while. Things slow down and cease to be that interesting anymore. But your heart insists to have fun, with that innate talent to ignore everything that could potentially bore you. You brain steps in and express how irrational and unpractical your actions were. Stuck between the transition of a child and an adult, you were in this troubled phase of life but you know what you are doing and you know the consequences involved. The world was a kind and beautiful place to be through your heart, but your experiences reminded you otherwise. The road is still rough, but that didn’t matter that much. You are busy experimenting and finding more things about you and being all that you can be.

By the time you are 30, things suddenly became stale and dull. You got tired of the routine and your habitual decisions. You grew extremely accustomed in repertoire, but you have this tiny bit of passion burning deep down inside your heart that you thought it was long gone at times. You desperately want to break free from the debilitating cycle. Everything you see seemed like a marketing ruse. Everyone seemed reproachful and doing things in spite. You yearn for the transparency and honesty from the world. You realise at the point in life that you acknowledge that time is running fast and not waiting for anyone else. There are always copious amount of things you need to do, and there is always not enough time for any of these. You busy fulfilling your responsibility as a part of a community, a society, and a family member. You wish there is time for you to run away from everything and return to that state of self.

But, you won’t.

There are bills to pay and work to be done. You cannot afford to veer off course of the objectives and goals that you need to achieve. You sit your dedicated desk day in and day out, reminding yourself that this is for yourself. “Is that so?” your heart will ask. Then, the doubt you have deep down inside will surface and start to irefully question your wavering choice. When your eyes noticed that glint of hope, you find yourself drawn to every opportunity to escape through the bulwarks in shrewd, hoping to confound whatever you see the world as. You go on sighed in demur about that tenet, but all you could do is lamenting about it in retrospect. The road is rough and you placidly acknowledge it.

Where has the elated chortle gone?


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