I am here for 2 months already.
When you are alone in a foreign land, and officially become something out of the norm in the particular society, things will never be the same. Being different is one thing, accommodating is another thing. I once thought I can, apparently I was wrong. I thought I will escape from what I faced in my familiar ground, and apparently I was wrong, again.
I have a set of problems.
I have a problem when it involves a conversation with people that talk without using his or her brain. I have a problem with people who like to impress others but make themselves sound even dumber. I have a problem with dramas portrayed by people which clearly showed the insincerity quite obviously. I have a problem with people who do not treat you as who you are, who do not care, who do not bother in any aspect anyway. I have a problem with people that are just way too ignorant to accept the fact that they are wrong.
I am exhausted.
True, this is the reality. I said “Hi” to reality quite a number of times already. In fact, I tried and it seems that the courage of me embracing this ugly truth will turned invalid over and over again. I am constantly been reminded, over and over again. I told myself not to care. I told myself not to bother, to not beat the crowd and join them. I failed, and I lost count of it already.
I took a deep breath.
And tell myself that it will be better. To lie to myself like this is the best way to prevent myself to behave like one of them at the end of the day. I hate my situation now, I hate how the reality functions. I know couldn’t do anything about it, thus I just need some space to rant for a little while.
Then, I will take a deep breath again.
And tell myself:
“Here we go again.”